I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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