oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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