i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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