Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize