Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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