i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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