I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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