I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is Oprah even human
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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