Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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