I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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