I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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