Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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