are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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