we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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