Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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