dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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