i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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