He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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