He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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