were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize