3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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