I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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