she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize