my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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