Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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