he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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