Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize