Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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