I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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