Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize