Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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