Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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