we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize