I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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