Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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