I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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