Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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