i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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