just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just had sex bonerless
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize