u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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