oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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