11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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