i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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