Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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