Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We named our party play list daddy issues
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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