He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize