Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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