My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
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batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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