There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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