you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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